I looked at the city from another side today. I cracked the window in the bathroom and I could actually look by myself. The steam was going out through the opening.
I thought of what it’d be like to be in the middle of the river. They’d probably have to rescue me. A person can’t swim naked in the Hudson like that. Downstream where it’s everyone’s view. But the shock of water temperature would be a bigger deal. The water was really hot in the shower. It would probably hurt so bad that I would shut down my capacity to respond to my own body. I’d have to start thinking of my soul, I said. I thought it was funky to imagine a switch like that: now you’re no longer body, now you’re soul. I wonder. I don’t know.
I was thinking that cooking set me free from daughter of mother, the bathroom bliss set me free from the masculine energy that I had internalized. Then the next challenge was to get rid of the wish to be at the same wavelength, of speaking the same language, of setting my vibration speed to a rate or readability to his apparatus.
I asked myself what next for me. To discover. Now that I’m with, I can discover together. We can go looking.
I want a tattoo